Self-Limitations
To say I’m a dyslexic, limits the way I see.
Really, I just see things differently.
To say I can’t dance, makes me sit on the side.
Really, I just need to listen to my heartbeat.
To say that I just don’t get it closes my mind.
Really, I just need to open the door.
To say that I’m afraid limits my faith.
Really, I just have faith.
To say that I need makes me more needy.
Really, I need just be.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
How I wrap my head around it
To me, (in my, world as my husband like to say) the words frequency, energy and vibration to a certain degree can be interchanged. Let me give you a brief scenario.
On your ride home from work you listen to the radio in your car. A song comes on that you don't like so you touch a button and change the station. Once home, you are going to make yourself dinner. While you are cooking you are going to have the TV on to catch up on what's been happening in the world today. So you turn on the TV and change the channel to whatever one you want to watch. Once you get dinner going, you decide you need to call someone on their cell phone. You pick up your phone, cordless? And you make the call.
Each of these devices is programmed to work within it's own band of frequency. Correct? My head, for whatever reason is programmed to work off of a higher, purer band of these same frequencies. Its the same theory really. Any of the frequencies going in or out of any one of these devices, you can't see it, smell it, touch it, feel it......and yet you not only don't doubt or question that its there, you expect it to be there. You expect that radio station to change. You expect that tv to turn on and change channels. You expect the other person to answer their cell phone. So why then would you doubt me if I were to tell you a message from a loved one?
The fact that there are, and have been for many years, people in the world that are trying to develop such a device that can capture the frequencies that my head does can be very validating to someone like me.
I know that there are very advanced mediums out there that get it right most of the time. I honestly can't say that I would believe someone that told me that they always were right on target. There are too many variables for me. For example. Remember the old am radios and the early TVs? If you turned just right with the radio you would get another station. If the wind blew just right with the TVs you would get another channel for a second or so. That's what I call bleed overs. I believe that this also happens with doing readings. It can be so subtle, who would know?
Sometimes I feel like I am still in the am radio stage. "Hey you! Get outta the tunnel so I can hear you!"
Just as every artist is different, so is every medium. For me, I see things, hear things, feel things, sense things and sometimes smell things. I am still totally amazed by it and am always open to learn how to do it better.
On your ride home from work you listen to the radio in your car. A song comes on that you don't like so you touch a button and change the station. Once home, you are going to make yourself dinner. While you are cooking you are going to have the TV on to catch up on what's been happening in the world today. So you turn on the TV and change the channel to whatever one you want to watch. Once you get dinner going, you decide you need to call someone on their cell phone. You pick up your phone, cordless? And you make the call.
Each of these devices is programmed to work within it's own band of frequency. Correct? My head, for whatever reason is programmed to work off of a higher, purer band of these same frequencies. Its the same theory really. Any of the frequencies going in or out of any one of these devices, you can't see it, smell it, touch it, feel it......and yet you not only don't doubt or question that its there, you expect it to be there. You expect that radio station to change. You expect that tv to turn on and change channels. You expect the other person to answer their cell phone. So why then would you doubt me if I were to tell you a message from a loved one?
The fact that there are, and have been for many years, people in the world that are trying to develop such a device that can capture the frequencies that my head does can be very validating to someone like me.
I know that there are very advanced mediums out there that get it right most of the time. I honestly can't say that I would believe someone that told me that they always were right on target. There are too many variables for me. For example. Remember the old am radios and the early TVs? If you turned just right with the radio you would get another station. If the wind blew just right with the TVs you would get another channel for a second or so. That's what I call bleed overs. I believe that this also happens with doing readings. It can be so subtle, who would know?
Sometimes I feel like I am still in the am radio stage. "Hey you! Get outta the tunnel so I can hear you!"
Just as every artist is different, so is every medium. For me, I see things, hear things, feel things, sense things and sometimes smell things. I am still totally amazed by it and am always open to learn how to do it better.
Monday, March 29, 2010
The very beginning
I was born March 3, 1958. Third Month. Third Day. Third child in the family. Three minutes before midnight.....curious. Look out big brothers. Times, they are a changing!
I don't think my brother liked me too much. He was five when I was born. He was always picking, pulling and poking me. My mom kept telling him to leave me alone. I think he had a hard time hearing her cause he kept doing it anyways. What I quite never understood was, if he hated me so much, why was he the first one to give me something when I was only two weeks old? The chicken pox!!!
So weird and yet I swear I remember this happening. It's dark in my room, but I can still see. The light my mom leaves on over the kitchen sink helps me to see. I'm bored. I don't want to go to sleep. My cow reminds me what mom said. "Its time to go to sleep now. If you're awake when the Easter bunny comes, he won't leave you anything".
Hey, look! There's the shade. If I pull it and let it go, it goes up real fast and makes that funny noise. I really like that noise. I like looking out and watching the cars go by. Not as many when its dark out. Wonder why?
Look, what's that? That light keeps going up and down. What is it? Its getting closer. Oh, no! Its the Easter bunny! Maybe mom is right! Gotta go to sleep. Gotta go to sleep. I'll lay down and put the blanket over my head. Then he'll think I'm asleep. Sssshhh, cow.
Twenty-four years later......
Mom, did my crib used to be right there?
Yes.
When I couldn't sleep, did I get up and ping the shade and watch the cars?
Yes.
How old was I?
Well, you were out of your crib walking and talking at nine months.
Oh...
I don't think my brother liked me too much. He was five when I was born. He was always picking, pulling and poking me. My mom kept telling him to leave me alone. I think he had a hard time hearing her cause he kept doing it anyways. What I quite never understood was, if he hated me so much, why was he the first one to give me something when I was only two weeks old? The chicken pox!!!
So weird and yet I swear I remember this happening. It's dark in my room, but I can still see. The light my mom leaves on over the kitchen sink helps me to see. I'm bored. I don't want to go to sleep. My cow reminds me what mom said. "Its time to go to sleep now. If you're awake when the Easter bunny comes, he won't leave you anything".
Hey, look! There's the shade. If I pull it and let it go, it goes up real fast and makes that funny noise. I really like that noise. I like looking out and watching the cars go by. Not as many when its dark out. Wonder why?
Look, what's that? That light keeps going up and down. What is it? Its getting closer. Oh, no! Its the Easter bunny! Maybe mom is right! Gotta go to sleep. Gotta go to sleep. I'll lay down and put the blanket over my head. Then he'll think I'm asleep. Sssshhh, cow.
Twenty-four years later......
Mom, did my crib used to be right there?
Yes.
When I couldn't sleep, did I get up and ping the shade and watch the cars?
Yes.
How old was I?
Well, you were out of your crib walking and talking at nine months.
Oh...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Figuring it all out
Hello,
I am a 52yr old woman still trying to figure it all out. I have done many things in my life and yet I still flounder, question, challenge and sometimes even dare the universe and the people who love me most. I am in hopes that by writing about my past that I will enable myself to see where I have arrived. I will be using this blog to write about things in no particular order, but randomly as they come to mind. My only agenda is to find myself by putting myself out there.
Let me start by what I do know, my labels, if you will. I am a wife, ex wife, step mom, psychic/medium, healer, teacher, friend, daughter, sister, reiki practitioner, menopausal woman. This list is truly in no particular order....I repeat.....menopausal....
Next I guess I should list some of the jobs I've had that also help to make me who I have become. I worked in the emergency field for about twelve years. I was a firefighter, worked also on the rescue squad, ambulance and as a cop. I taught and assisted in advance life support, cpr and emt classes. I worked my way up in a busy grocery store to manager. I took over and managed a gas station/conv. store that was going under. I worked in restaurant kitchens (please don't tell my husband I know how to cook). I now work in the backroom of a Target store and am quite happy.....work wise I guess.
What seems to be in the forefront right now is being a medium. I have always had this ability. As my life has evolved, so have my "abilities". This, like most things in my life, I do backwards. Rather than hanging out a shingle and having people come to me in hopes of a "message" I prefer to just allow myself to be open and allow spirit come to me with their messages. I then find the person here and deliver that message (sometimes a bigger problem). Although I can and have on many occaisions done cold readings, that is not where I am most comfortable. I will be writing about some of these messages in days and weeks to come, but please know that I take this part of my live seriously and their privacy is most important. Names and some minor details will be changed.
This, is my life as I choose to remember it. The good. The bad. The ugly. But none the less, mine.
I am a 52yr old woman still trying to figure it all out. I have done many things in my life and yet I still flounder, question, challenge and sometimes even dare the universe and the people who love me most. I am in hopes that by writing about my past that I will enable myself to see where I have arrived. I will be using this blog to write about things in no particular order, but randomly as they come to mind. My only agenda is to find myself by putting myself out there.
Let me start by what I do know, my labels, if you will. I am a wife, ex wife, step mom, psychic/medium, healer, teacher, friend, daughter, sister, reiki practitioner, menopausal woman. This list is truly in no particular order....I repeat.....menopausal....
Next I guess I should list some of the jobs I've had that also help to make me who I have become. I worked in the emergency field for about twelve years. I was a firefighter, worked also on the rescue squad, ambulance and as a cop. I taught and assisted in advance life support, cpr and emt classes. I worked my way up in a busy grocery store to manager. I took over and managed a gas station/conv. store that was going under. I worked in restaurant kitchens (please don't tell my husband I know how to cook). I now work in the backroom of a Target store and am quite happy.....work wise I guess.
What seems to be in the forefront right now is being a medium. I have always had this ability. As my life has evolved, so have my "abilities". This, like most things in my life, I do backwards. Rather than hanging out a shingle and having people come to me in hopes of a "message" I prefer to just allow myself to be open and allow spirit come to me with their messages. I then find the person here and deliver that message (sometimes a bigger problem). Although I can and have on many occaisions done cold readings, that is not where I am most comfortable. I will be writing about some of these messages in days and weeks to come, but please know that I take this part of my live seriously and their privacy is most important. Names and some minor details will be changed.
This, is my life as I choose to remember it. The good. The bad. The ugly. But none the less, mine.
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