It had been one of those weeks, months actually, okay year. I had just gotten divorced. Had a ton of bills, moved a whole lot and was working three jobs. I worked in a factory, also in collections and as a part time cop.
Well I happened to only have to work one job one of those weird days and a friend asked me out for a drink after work. Drink? Sure!
We sat there for a long time drinking large glasses of house wine, eating Goldfish, and bashing men. When we decided to leave, I ambled out to my car and started to drive the two towns over home.
I pulled into the driveway and realized that I no longer lived there, I had moved. I went on to the next place only to realize that I had moved from there also. Shit, same with the next place. Think, think, think! Okay, deep breath. You’re a cop. Look at you’re license for the address. Shit, shit, shit…it’s a post office box! Think, think, think!!!! Then an Oprah light bulb moment hit. Vast realization came over me. You asshole! You’ve been living in your car! You’ve been home the whole damn time!!!!!
Never drove drunk again.
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